Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Trump Biopic ‘The Apprentice’ Dominates Politically-Charged Canadian Screen Awards - The Hollywood Reporter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I actually pay taxes

Scottie Scheffler Calls US Open at Oakmont 'The Hardest Golf Course...Maybe Ever' - Bleacher Report

I have complete contempt for fakery

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I see through liars

With record crowd watching, Sky get blown out by Fever in first WNBA game at United Center - AP News

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

After more than 60 years of development, here is the nuclear engine that is set to go to Mars with NASA. - Farmingdale Observer

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

NASCAR Cup Series qualifying order for Michigan International Speedway - NASCAR.com

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

SpaceX marks 500th Falcon launch with Starlink 11-22 Mission - Teslarati

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have permed hair in need of some deep moisturizing. If I use a product like Pro K pac as a leave-in conditioner and don’t rinse it out for 24 hours, will my hair be damaged?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Culpa nobis molestiae ab dignissimos omnis nesciunt.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Scientists Stumble Upon The World’s Oldest Stomach Stone Fossil - The Daily Galaxy

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

CPI Report Today: Dow Futures Slip; U.S. and China Agree Trade Truce Framework - WSJ

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Which scene is considered the most difficult to watch in each of Quentin Tarantino's movies?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What Your Sweat Could Reveal About Your Health - CNN

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I can read

What measures can companies take to overcome the global talent shortage in IT outsourcing?

I can count

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Hinch: More to decision to pull Tarik Skubal from scoreless game than just game strategy - The Detroit News

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why do we exist, and why are we conscious?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”